Follow Random Happenings! Shabangity!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

On False Realities

Now this is a subject I am very interested in, so this will probably be my first of several posts on this topic.

What is a false reality? To me, it means that a person cannot grasp what their lives actually are. They convince themselves of false circumstances and view themselves in the wrong light. False reality and naiveness (yes it's a word) go hand in hand, as the person is either so headstrong (usually the case) or so unconfident that he or she is completely unaware of their actual status.

For example, there was once this person I knew who picked fights with many people, especially those close to him/her, and the disputes would drag on for very long times. Sometimes he/she would not talk to a his/her old friend for very long times, constantly expressing anger toward that person and pretending like they were never good friends. Nevertheless, this same person described him/herself as "very forgiving" when asked if they were a forgiving person. This is a false reality.

High school is especially full of false realities, especially during the college application process. Many people applied to extremely hard schools, which is fine and commendable. Nevertheless, they took it a step further by convincing themselves and bragging that they would not only get into these harder schools, some of which were Ivies, but they also thought that they would get extremely good financial aide or even full rides. These people were good students, but not the caliber to receive full rides, that's for sure. Almost no one gets those. Yet, these people were so convinced and were living in such fallacious realities that when rejection came, they were furious and confused. I'll admit, I was a bit overconfident, and rejections that I wasn't completely expecting hurt. However, I knew that college is anyone's game (for the most part) when it comes to applying, so I was not too shocked. Those who lived in false realities were very hurt, with the false reality being a prime contributer.

False realities work in the opposite way as well. I know people who are very convinced that they cannot achieve what they are capable of. This to me is the sadder and more troubling false reality. In the overconfident version, people become so boastful and let down so suddenly that it becomes comical. In the opposite version, however, I see people who cannot break free from their own mental constraints and achieve at their highest potential. These people need others to support them and show them what they are truly capable of, and they need to overcome the "I simply can't do that" excuse.

Sometimes this situation arises because others who lived in overconfident false realities put down those who could achieve since they could not stand to see someone do something they could not do. This can be as simple as someone who was cut from the soccer team telling a younger and promising player that they really are not as good as they think. It could also be as complicated as a parent who only made it to the eighth grade forcing his or her bright child to drop out at the same age because they are jealous and cannot see the child outsmart him- or herself.

Those are some initial thoughts on this subject, and there will be more to come. My advice - be aware of what you can and cannot do. Do not be afraid to push boundaries, but do not be so boastful and overconfident that when failure comes, you look like a fool and are devastated. Part of discovering yourself is escaping false reality and finding peace with both your talents and aspects of yourself that are not "ideal."


No comments:

Post a Comment